Reality check

I read blog after blog about the joys of homeschooling.  You know the ones, every day is sunshine and flowers, the children are happy and engaged in learning, and nobody misbehaves.  They are great reads and give you that warm fuzzy feeling about what we endeavor to do.  What they aren't is reality, at least not any reality that lives in my home.    I love homeschooling my kids and at least 3/4 of our year is great but I'd be lying if I said the other 1/4 of the year I didn't fantasize about sneaking them on the school bus as it drives by.  If you weren't lucky enough to be blessed with perfect kids or are imperfect like me read on and know that you're not alone.  


I remember it like it was just yesterday, oh wait, that's because it was yesterday.   It was a day of frustration.  One where lessons that should have taken 15 mins took over an hour,  one that saw many breaches in the magical sofa cushion barrier, where the sweet sounds of "stop touching me" and "Mooooooooom, make her stop" rang in my ears.  This after a week of hearing this is too hard or that is too boring and "why can't I just play video games all day?" This Mom was at the end of her rope.  As I listened to the words "I HATE SCHOOL" come out of Michael's mouth for the 5th time that day and 3,782nd time in 7 days I wanted to "go global".   My brain screamed "How can you hate school?  Do you have any idea how hard I have worked to find topics that you are interested in.  Do you not realize that I have spent hours upon hours researching curricula, planning for months on end, in the hopes that you would have a year you loved yet somehow 7 days in you're telling me how much you hate it.  How is that possible?!"   Instead what came out of my mouth (which wasn't much better) was this:  "you do realize the teachers at school would never put up with this behavior don't you??"  (which he does because he was there for 2 years)  I quickly followed that up with some sort of veiled threat of sending him back there.  As the words were coming out of my mouth I was regretting them but I couldn't seem to figure out how to shove them back in.  It was not my finest moment as a Mother or teacher but it was my reality.  My reality is kids who are fidgety, bicker with each other, aren't blindly obedient, and who seem to misbehave at the most inopportune times.  Thankfully, my reality is also kids who are silly, funny, love each other, and are quick to forgive. (even their dear old Mom)


I am grateful that each sunrise brings with it a new day full of promise and opportunity.  I enter each one striving to make it better than the one before but still grounded in the reality that I am not perfect and that this is my life.